inescapable chores

living at home, chores used to be something you did when you had extra time on your hands. now married and having my own household, chores are inescapable.

there had been days when i felt too lazy to get up and do my chores, but then if i didn't do it no one would. and it needed to get done so i actually had no choice but to do them. yes, i do miss the convenience of having maids do household chores for you the way we had in the philippines.

but doing the chores myself brings me in control of how i want it done. at times my very helpful husband does our laundry. and when in a hurry, he often forgets to separate the whites from the colors-- thinking that nothing will stain. and yes, more often than not, they do stain. and he never pretreats the clothes that need pretreating-- to make a long story short, i'm more satisfied with the outcome if i did the laundry. and all the other chores as well, except cooking-- my husband happens to be a great cook!

being able to fix up the house, makes it more my home too than just my in-laws and husband's place. and i think my housemates agree that i do succeed in beautifying those little spaces i get my hands onto.

a cure to cranky times

one of my husband's best qualities is how he always manages to make me smile/laugh during the times when i get really cranky.

we went to universal studios last saturday, after going to our lawyer in encino. i was wearing the new sneakers i'd bought for a bargain at walmart that same week. as i was used to doing with my tretorns in the philippines, i didn't wear socks, and i had the blisters to prove it!

who wouldn't be cranky when you're dragged through a crowded theme park with your feet hurting from all the friction? he was excited to have me experience the jurassic park ride. we had come from the other side of the park from watching waterworld (and had gotten thru the show UN-drenched, thanks to his good memory as to which parts of the audience usually gets soaked by the actors). the ride had me a bit scared because of the 400 ft drop, but it felt great to be out of the heat.

he noticed that i was frowning on the way up the starway escalator and asked me in that boyish way he does why i was frowning. his tone got a smile out of me immediately and when i told him about my feet, he grinned and kissed me. we went to the first aid station to get some band aids and had some icee to rest.

tired as he was he soon got me laughing because he told me that he had fun watching MY FACE during the jurassic park ride and thru the backdraft studio effects! i didn't even know he was looking at me!

i have this habit you see of watching him while he sleeps. and he enjoys watching my face while watching a horror film/going on roller coaster rides/watching shows, etc. anytime i don't notice him looking, he is! and i find that very sweet. because every time he tells me about my facial expression i can hear how very cherished i am in his voice. how he finds my closing my eyes while we went thru that 400 ft drop endearing. it's one of his many manifestations of love-- and it does make my crankiness evaporate.

and the way he would always know when i was upset with him, it shows that he really pays attention to me. i'm not the type to raise a fuss when i'm mad, i keep quiet. but somehow he would always know when i'm miffed. and he would always say sorry and make ammends no matter what i was miffed about. and just having him hold me drives all the irritations and frustrations away...

i really do have a wonderful husband! and he reminds me of that every moment we're together.

another LA

when i was 11 years old, i spent 2 weeks here in LA on vacation. my aunt and uncle treated us to disneyland, universal studios, knotts berry farm and all the other tourist attractions while we were here.

when i got married and moved to LA, my husband showed me other parts of the city that i have never seen before. and we did it the non-tourist style.

you see, i had always complained to him that my exes had taken me to boring places for our dates. even commenting that i couldn't find a man cultured enough to take me to watch plays, go to museums or watch a string quartet's concert. i had always thought that memorable dates had to be expensive ones and my husband proved me wrong when i got to LA.

he took me to appreciate the architecture of the old union station, pointing out the historic and rather romantic way it was constructed. he took me for a stroll on hollywood blvd and we went on a different kind of stargazing as we read the names on the stars lining the sidewalks. he took me to an old hotel whose layout and architecture was practically a living museum piece in hollywood. we went to the avila house, he took me to see all the mexican trinkets for sale in the bazaar. we prayed briefly in the big church there before going home.

my husband delights in showing me all these cultural wonders in the nooks and crannies of LA that my relatives had not thought of showing to us. he makes me experience things like the different types of cuisine available here. he knows i would enjoy such simple pleasures and he delights in pointing out that our "dates" have never been so expensive.

yet, i did get the culture i wanted. we haven't been to watch a play yet, and i know he's looking out for a play we can watch because he scans the paper for it or asks me if i want to watch shows advertised on tv.

just the thought that he remembers all the things i want to experience reiterates the love he continually finds new ways of showing me. and for this i feel very lucky indeed.

the bachelor's pad

my husband had warned me that his room was a mess before i came to be with him. that was a huge understatement. as his friends have said, his room had been the typical bachelor's room, everything just dumped wherever he can find the space to dump it.

and it wasn't just his room, it was the whole house! there were too many things and no space to put them in.

my husband has an eye for beautiful garbage-- valuable antiques that had been given away because of lack of space. his mother has a stubborn attachment to things that many people would consider as trash.

being brought up in a house where it was extremely important for at least the living room to be ready to receive visitors at all times, i cringed when i saw my home's new living room. and up until now, i shy away from inviting relatives over. my mother's family is an extremely decorative lot, the home must be clean and organized-- the women of the family must see to that.

not being the sole woman in the family, and the other woman being so attached to her trash-- this would be one of my biggest challenges. and so i started with our bedroom. our sanctuary, supposedly, away from his parents and all their garbage. so, of course, the stack of clothes his mom kept behind our door had been the first to go. i removed all his boxes of junk. i cleaned and arranged an altar for us. i cleared most of the papers on his computer table and organized his files of paper in the neatest way possible. put a decent bed sheet on the bed and mopped the floor.

it's more liveable now. though i would still like to get rid of a few things and bring in some organizers for his huge amount of papers.

now the living room. his mother has been hounding him to fix the storage outside and he plans to. but in between taking care of his father, his mother, contracting remodeling home projects and being a great husband-- he has very little time to attend to this.

well, we cleaned and organized the living room as best as we could. i sweep it from time to time. but it is still unfit to receive visitors. oh, well, i guess i have to take it one day at a time with my remodeling/redecorating. after all, my husband has already promised to tile the bathroom, put in the door of the bath tub, texture the wall of the living room, organize the storage and throw out whatever garbage we can throw out.

and he always keeps his promises.

the unusually long journey of a bride

i was a software developer in the philippines, taking a masters degree in information technology and living the life of a pampered middle class career woman. in other words, our family had a maid to do the household chores, i went to the parlor for a trim and hot oil every month, manicures and pedicures every other week, and had treats like foot spas, paraffin wax, hair colors, facials, etc. when i had the time and the budget for it. i am the oldest of three sisters, we spend weekends going to the nearby mall to watch a movie, eat out, shop, etc.

i wasn't one of those highly paid tech gurus, but it was a pretty good life. but i was not happy. i wanted that happy ever after. i wanted to meet the man i would spend my whole life with--and i am a very impatient woman.

to make a long story short, i searched for mr. right and never found him. all the men around me seemed lacking--to the point that i wondered if i was setting my standards too high.

but then my husband found me. he found me and, in the months that followed, proceeded to show me that the man of my dreams existed, albeit 5000 miles away. in such a short amount of time he had become my best friend, my beloved and my soulmate.

and through all the doubts, the arguments and disagreements we had-- i could not let go. and even he was surprised at how much pain and sacrifice he bore because of his love for me. and we decided to end our long distance relationship and get married.

so i took a plane, travelling alone for the first time in my life, to los angeles-- 5000 miles to be with the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. and at the airport, he wasn't there. he was late, but i insisted on waiting-- after all, i had waited my whole life for him.

and the moment he took me into his arms i knew that there wasn't a person in the whole world who was happier than i. he is the most beautiful person i have ever known! and he made good on his promise to show me how much he loves me from the very first second when he smiled in recognition at the airport.

he was definitely worth the long journey. and strangely enough, in his arms i felt as though i had come home.

we got married on january 2, 2004 in a civil wedding ceremony in LA county. and i am currently living my happy ever after... it's not quite what i expected, but then our relationship has been that way ever since it started.