filipinos unite?

i have been watching american idol for quite a while. for the first few weeks, i have been rooting for the filipina contestant, jasmine trias. but then it became apparent that the other contestants had more singing abilities than she did. she has a good voice, but i personally don't think it's star material.

but she has a beautiful face, a face apparently americans love. this week she had just been voted onto the top three spots and "it just seemed wrong", to quote judge, paula abdul. latoya london who was voted out deserves to be in the final three. but america has voted.

sometimes i wonder if it's just hawaii voting or all the filipinos here in the US. i admit, one has to be partial to her if one is a filipino. even if i know she's not good, i always look forward to knowing if she will make it for another week. the judges are all against her already, i hope it doesn't give filipinos a bad name for the nth time here.

a singing contest, is this the triviality filipinos want to unite for these days?

his first lady

i was reading my husband's email earlier, don't worry i have permission to, we don't keep secrets. i tried reading his email group, expecting to find a bunch of forwarded emails. instead i find them caught up in planning an anniversary.

i found myself caught up in their conversation. it was a peek at the personalities that comprised another side of my husband. they were listing the group's leaders per year and i was waiting for them to put my husband on the list. i know he was the leader of the group for 3 years, i just don't know which year exactly.

one of his friends commented about our close couple-friend, something about the guy being scared of his wife. and i got a bit offended for her. she stands up for her rights, she's a fighter and they make fun of her.

early on in life, after observing my mother, i learned that in front of your husband's friends-- it is always good to have the appearance of a submissive wife. no matter how your relationship really is.

i see that sometimes my husband's friend envies him when i serve him. maybe it is something his wife never does for him. she has her reasons and i have mine.

i always believed that behind every great man is an even greater woman. and i plan to be that woman for my man. his first lady.

culture in the midst of tinseltown

one often equates LA to hollywood. tinseltown. the glitz and glamor of showbusiness. but in the midst of this bustling city is the paul getty center.

this is a scenic compound on top of a hill. there is a tram that visitors take at the foot of the hill going to the wondrous entranceway and their first glimpse of the architectural wonder that is the paul getty museum.

my husband pointed out that the limestones used on the structure had been shipped from italy. the facade's grand yet very modern design awed most of the tourists, local and international. the glass, limestone and tile-like materials blended together into a formal, classy and elegant structure.

my personal favorite was the paintings of Degas, Monet, Manet, Van Gogh, Renoir and a sculpture by Gaughin. these works i have only seen in my picture books or in various teaching slides our humanities teacher had shown us. and there they were close enough to touch! they were magnificent!

the copies of rooms from another time were quite enchanting. imagining oneself in that era of stockinged men, gentlemen and ladies of a time long past, simply awe-inspiring.

the view of LA was amazing. the gardens romantic. my husband and i lounged and strolled along the pathways, transported into an urban paradise of culture and the arts.

it was one of the best birthdays i've ever had! and i'm glad the man i love took time off to share it with me... he truly is my most wonderful gift!

my husband's friends

my husband has a lot of friends. and it's not just one big group. it's several different groups, people he has met along the way thru the different stages of his life.

he has one group from his fraternity back in college. one group from his church movement. one group from the neighbors past and present. a group from his beauty pageant production. and his group of friends from his contracting business. and others i have yet to meet.

they all seem very friendly. we spend holidays with them or the weekend, in the hope of getting away from his parents. they're an interesting lot, but i still do miss my friends.

the friends i made in DLSZ, Pisay, UP-Dil, UPLB and DLSU. my friends from work. my friends from our neighborhood. my friends from our faith. and even those friends i made online.

sometimes i feel as though i want to break away from the time spent with his friends/relatives and spend time with my friends and relatives instead. it's not that i don't like his friends, it's just that they're his friends-- they got along, we just had to get along because i'm always with him. it's not the same for me. i look forward to meeting batchmates who are here in California. i look forward to maybe attending a reunion of our family during Christmas or some such event. i look forward to making friends on my own when i finally find work!

but in the meantime, i guess i have to make do with my husband's friends.

pangs of jealousy

i always wanted a man who would make me the center of his world. but then i also wanted a man who had great ambition and drive. and these always seem to conflict, leaving me feeling neglected when the man concentrated on where he wanted to go.

with my husband, he makes it a point to reassure me that i am his priority. it's one of the qualities i love about him. but then i still get jealous at times sometimes irrationally so. i don't know why i can't control my jealousy, i do know my husband will keep his promise to be faithful to me.

but then there are times when i'm illogically jealous, say of his colleague or his mom or women who had a crush on him before he fell in love with me. i don't know if i am selfish of his love, that i want all his love for myself and no one else. i don't know if this is normal, but i certainly pray that i get over these feelings. he's my husband. he loves me and i'm his priority. possessiveness will only throttle him and we need to be able to grow together, not apart.

marriage is a journey and we still have a long way to go. i want it to be the best adventure we've ever had-- life blessed with unconditional love.