UCLA - Korean Culture Night

Yesterday as I was looking at UCLA's website, studying their screenwriting/creative writing courses, I found the Tales of Changsu advertised in their events calendar. When I clicked on it, it just so happened that it was for last night and it was also dubbed as Korean Culture Night.

Being deprived of watching plays for quite some time now, I asked my husband if we could go, thinking that we probably could invite some Koreans to our event as well.

It was a simple play, I may be biased in saying this but I think our highschool plays were much better than theirs. But the actual theatre it was held was beautiful. Royce Hall looked like a haunted mansion from afar, especially at night. It's theatre stage was made of wood, not very different from the PSHS stage, but when you look around at the ornate decorations on its walls, the pillars, the carvings that looked like something a castle would have-- it was simply beautiful.

I once thought that UP Diliman was big and old, but it UCLA has it beat. Last night I was thinking, I wish my baby sister could study here, or just even see how big this is. I love the way my sister, Lea, seems to mature right before my eyes from her little private school world at DLSZ to the much more aware world of UP Manila. Imagine how she will view UCLA:)

Do you find that odd? That I would think of how my baby sister would view it first before anyone else? I think my husband notices that about me. Well, he does know that even if I don't have my own kids, I will always have the memory of caring for Lea from when she was born to when she grew up. And because she was not my baby, I do not have the unpleasant memories of dirty diapers! hehehe.

.:the whims of a child:.

this morning i read my husband's email from his ex's sister, which i thought contained updates on how his kids were doing. instead, it contained a letter from his 13-year-old daughter. she didn't want to come here, she wrote. she wanted to be with my husband, but she wanted us to move to the philippines.

i miss the philippines too, i want to be able to stay there, but i know that we are here in the US for a reason. my husband's parents have free medical treatment here that they will have to pay dearly for in the philippines. the doctors here are specialists in the field my in-laws need, and inexpensive because of their insurance. my in-laws cannot even cook their own food anymore. without us their existence will be vastly difficult because neither of them drives and they are too old to carry the everyday burden of life like groceries, water containers, etc.

i know we can find a way to prepare for eventually retiring to the philippines, while working from here, we can steadily establish businesses there and investments. but the biggest thing is, we don't know how long my in-laws have in this world. we don't know how long til their daughter can get here to the US.

the whim of one child will turn all our worlds upside down. though truly i understand what she is feeling because i too had to leave so many behind to be with my husband here. how to go on after reading her wish, i think my husband and i need to talk about that tonight. for now, the day goes on...

how do you know?...

i grew up seeing the subtle yet unmistakable love my parents share and now part of a couple as well, going on our second year together i sometimes wonder what other ways can you find to reassure your partner everyday that you love him. how do you know that he loves you still?

everyone who gets to know us come to the conclusion on their own, that our relationship is going great and that we are the best thing to happen to each other. but it's the subtle things that seem the most touching to me.

when i stay overlong working on the computer my husband brings me something to eat or hot chocolate. when he notices me coughing a lot because of an itchy throat in my sleep, the moment i get up-- even if he's still half-asleep-- he tells me i should take this throat soother he bought or asks me if i want kalamansi juice to help erase the itch.

when his temper flares and he notices me flinch when he curses at a passing driver, he reaches over and takes my hand then kisses it tenderly. and when due to stress he's short with me, he notices when i grow quiet and quickly circles my waist with his arms and says sorry until i kiss him back.

when he notices how irritated i am with his mom, he keeps quiet and doesn't take sides. but a while later when my irritation has passed, i notice how he is irritated with her and he acknowledges that my reason is understandable.

and when we argue (mostly i argue with him), no matter how many hurtful words come from my crazy mouth, he forgives me. there was a time recently when he told me i hurt him very much and he was very quiet. i asked for forgiveness and he forgave me, it took some time before i got him to smile, but eventually he did laugh, hugged me tight and noticed the full moon. and there was the end-all of all my moodswings he claims.

what was even more touching, after i hurt him that much. that night he dreamt that i left him. i woke up in the middle of the night because he had reached for me and held me tightly, mumbling, 'wag mo kong iwan' before falling back to sleep.

i can't imagine being happy with anyone other than this man i wake up with every morning... when a man truly loves you, you'll just know:) trust me, i know.